I mentioned in my last post about the tragedy within the stories I am preparing and I just wanted to share an example. One of the stories that I briefly told in one of the sessions with martin, is a story that I have simply named The Sheep. 

This is a story that sums up me as a city boy. I was taking a walk along the country farm roads of Longridge with my sisters partner of the time. I was there visiting my Grandma and she recommended this walk we went on. She said it was 4 miles. That was a lie. It was 8 1/2 miles of nothing. Half way along this walk we heard a loud noise that made us both jump. We looked to the side and after a drop on the side of the road there was a fence and to our amazement as two city boys, there was a sheep with it’s head stuck in said fence. We stood there for 10 to 15 minutes trying to decide what we can do. Eventually He lowered me down enough for me to push the fence with my foot in an attempt to free this sheep. Of course the sheep wasn’t actually stuck and I nearly fell down the ditch and over the fence as a result of the startle the sheep gave me as it quickly scuttled away.

Of course looking back at this situation I find it entertaining and holding merit as a fond memory of mine. Since I have been really looking into my stories to try and pick what makes the show I realised the tragedy that this story holds. First off we are two ‘city boys’ who had barley seen a sheep before outside of a city farm where you are welcome to look around and feed the animals (so more of a petting zoo). I remember the fear I had in this situation and I think about how tragic it is that I take things like wool and lamb for granted when I buy them from the shop, yet I come across a real sheep and lose my mind. We were so oblivious to the fact that the sheep may have just wanted its head there rather than genuinely being stuck.

This story unfortunately is not going to be in my final show as it would take to much of a political edge to make it flow in with the rest of my performance. I do not want my performance to have an undertone that feels like I am preaching my views of society as that could ruin my performance and come across like a piece of propaganda.

Since my last post on ‘set’ I have changed my idea. I originaly wanted to have a sofa, a wheelie bin and a car tire. These were the three things that I thought would capture the right image for the working class life I wanted to capture.

I want my set to include aspects from both of the stories that I am going to tell. Because of this I am going to have three items on stage.

The first item is a dirty mattress that will represent the dirty atmosphere of a squat party. The second item is a shopping trolley. This keeps the feeling of working class south London, and also directly relates to the second story. I am also going to use this as a prop that I will dance around with when I first come on stage to represent the anarchy attitude that a punk carries. I am also going to use the shopping trolley as a visual representation of an actual burning shopping trolley. I plan to use lighting with the trolley to create the effect of a fire. The final piece of set that I plan on using is an old sofa. The sofa will have to be old, used and maybe a bit dirty for it to accurately represent a lower working class tone.

Noel Carroll wrote this about Amy Taubin as a solo performer:

“The value of her work, of course, does not rely on the metaphysical truth or falsity of her view of the self but rather on the fact that she is able to manipulate every dimension of her performances so that the solos express the feelings of distance, tension, incompleteness and absence that the self experiences in trying to define itself” (Carroll, 1979)

Although the ideas for my performance are very different than that of Amy Taubin’s, This quote put my feelings into words. The more I think about the representation of myself, the more I feel lost as to who I actually am. To take a step back and truly see yourself for what you are is a very difficult task and is a very lonely task. As I step out of myself and look at what I am and what I am doing, I feel a sense of loss. Have a lost myself and everything that I feel defines me by taking it apart. I believe some things are supposed to stay in the subconscious to prevent one from over thinking ones identity.

Luckily I am a man that enjoys my own company at times and these long meditative sessions of thinking and exploring my own mind creates time for me to realise the different aspects and angles to the different stories that I plan on sharing with my audience. As I think through these stories more and more, I am noticing a certain amount off tragedy that they hold. Of course tragedy is only tragedy because of the way the information is presented.

Work Cited

Carroll, Noel (1979) Amy Taubin: The Solo Self, The Drama Review: TDR Vol.23 No.1 Autoperformance Issue pp.51-58, USA: MIT Press

Above is a very rough sketch of my set idea. I came up with the idea in the break during our most recent session with martin. Hence why it is just a quick sketch. At the moment I’m not convinced that this will stay the same for my final performance, however it is a starting point.

My basic idea is to have an old sofa, a wheelie bin and a car tire on stage in an attempt to create the negative view that society and the media can have on working class Britain.

After sampling some stories with friends. I realised just how abnormal the stories are for the majority of audiences. People from different social classes and different cities and locations have different experiences and different understandings of particular situations. Although story telling is a way of bringing people together by inserting shared information to create a temporary bond between the teller and the rest of the audience it seemed to make me feel different. Although I did get a sense of togetherness as I told these stories, I also felt a sense of distinct separation. The nature of my stories creates an opportunity for audience members to see through the performer and look to me as a resource in the understanding of a social standing unfamiliar to themselves.

As the first member of my family to go to university I do expect this feeling and I understand why it comes over me. However this does not mean that I find this feeling uncomfortable. I find it more interesting; how nature vs nurture creates different people with different thoughts. Yet no matter how different people are there is almost always a common ground of some sort. For me and my performance I need to find stories that everyone can relate to. OR at least as many people as possible. Something that I find amusing may actually be quite tragic or disturbing for someone else.

Unfinished